Dating is tricky. It’s literally a game. Everyone is always going to put their best foot forward – this often means impressive qualities will shine bright and reel you into the fuckery you’re about to experience. Sorry if that sounded bitter. Heh, whoops! 😉
Now, I’m no expert. But I’ve definitely had my fair share of nonsense dealing with wolves in sheep clothing. Besides trying to refrain yourself from over thinking, you just have to take that L, bro. A lot people like to say “you attract what you put forth” .. But I’m not ashamed to say how inaccurate of a statement that is. If it’s one thing I’ve learned from dealing with these unspoken rules, it’s realizing that they’re far from accurate. People are different. Situations are different.
Don’t set your standards by all the love quotes you see on the web. I get it, some of them are VERY relatable. But If you live your life based on all those tumblr quotes and love memes, you’re in for a rude awakening. Why? Because no body is perfect. Frankly, they just remind me of how superficial we are as homo sapiens.
The Communication Sucks.
There is a reason why this is number one! (I mean, c’mon why wouldn’t it be?) How can anything stand a chance if the communication is whack? We live in a time where texting back is considered effort, so anything short of a quick check in, is just unacceptable. I get that people have lives and that we’re grown, but it literally takes 10 to 30 seconds to send a quick simple ‘hey, what’s up?’. I personally feel as though no one is EVER too busy to make time for people who supposedly matter. I’ll tell you why: Think of a time you REALLY wanted to do something. I mean, you were determined to include that activity in your plans no matter what. So much so, that you made sure to plan everything out accordingly! This very same effort can be used in regards to making time for that alleged special someone. If he’s active on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Snapchat, Myspace, Xanga, or Sconex, he’s not worth it. Not getting a message is also a message.
He points out your flaws—both physical attributes and personality characteristics. Instead of embracing them, he nit picks and mocks you. Any guy that makes you feel anything less of what you are is a tool. In addition, When men purposefully look for women’s flaws, it’s solely to hide a more deeper rooted issue. Love yourself, girl.
You’re probably a fun, free spirited kind of gal. You should never feel like you can’t truly be yourself around ANYONE. If he isn’t going out of his way to make you feel comfortable talking to him, It’s slow for everything. Guy’s who care about your dreams, goals or aspirations are the real MVP’s. It just shows that he’s genuinely interested and wants nothing but the best for you. Furthermore, if he doesn’t bring you around his friends, that definitely raises a red flag. He’s not worth it, and don’t be his play thing. You should be able to be open and honest with each other. Developing a solid friendship is an essential part of building a connection with someone. Friends don’t make friends feel uncomfortable.
If you feel like this is the only time you have 100% of his attention? Abort mission.
You’re doing all the work.
If you’re doing all the calling, texting, talking, planning, etc, that’s a problem. He should want to communicate with you. It’s fine to want a little space, but he shouldn’t need a reason to call beyond a simple hello. If he only seems to want to talk to you when he wants something, walk away. You deserve better. Guys tend to act up on purpose to just avoid you from liking them any further and to delay the dreaded ‘so what are we?’ or ‘where do we go from here?’ questions. He’s not worth it.
Inconsistency of Effort.
Noticing this is when you start to wonder if it’s best to quit while you’re ahead. Sometimes you’ll have REALLY good times, and you start to reconsider taking ol’ boy serious again. Not realizing that it was only just..well, a good time. When a gap emerges and his effort is choppy, chances are he only wants to talk to you when he’s in the mood. He’s not worth it. You are worth getting to know and being treated like the absolute QUEEN you are. If any guy opposes? BYE! 😉
If he’s made you question any kind of intention or made you doubt his feelings for you. You ask yourself questions like; ‘Is there a possibility of there ever being an us in the future?’
You Foot The Bill.
At Some Point, You Just Thought:
It can get repetitive. You meet a guy; a connection is felt – eventually you’ll begin to talk on the phone religiously! text heavy, go out once or twice (if you’re lucky) then eventually the interaction subsides. You can’t make a guy do anything that he doesn’t want to do. If he misses you, he’d set up a date. If he want’s to talk to you, he’d call.
Listen honey, don’t even trip. Realize your self worth. When it comes to dating, it’s definitely trial and error but you are worth getting to know. You are worth waiting for. You are worth the effort. Make sure to have a good understanding of yourself before getting to know anyone else. The ironic part of dating is.. you really learn more about yourself asides from learning about different kinds of people. Although guys have been acting up for centuries, We live in a time where things are a lot more blatant. My advice? FOCUS ON YOU. Focus on being the absolute best version of yourself. One day, a handsome King will come around and treat you like the Queen you truly are. Sometimes it has to get worse before it gets good. How will we know to appreciate a beautiful sunny day if we’ve never experienced a treacherous storm? 🙂
Thoughts? What’s a deal breaker for you? What makes him suddenly no longer worth it to you?