I just want to put a disclaimer out there: this isn’t to bash men. I have plenty of guy friends who are always voicing their disappointments with the dating scene and I often find myself in positions to give advice on different methods they can implement to their dating practices. I am your friend. I am not some feminist anti-men bra burning activist. I love my brothers. And I want to help y’all understand from a women’s perspective. Please try to keep an open mind and refrain from getting defensive about another person’s reality. Please also understand that I am also not here to sooth your ego. Consider this an open letter to all the men of my generation.
To the men who try: If you are one of the good guy’s who are consistent and just can’t seem to make things work. She’s not the one. I say this because I don’t know any WOMAN who willingly passes up a great MAN whom she is attracted to and is thoughtful and consistent. Move on from Ol’ girl and continue being a great man. You will make someone very happy one day. How can we enjoy blue skies if we’ve never endured a storm? Don’t fret. You’re not for everybody, and you sure as hell won’t be on the market long.
the quality of being loyal to someone or something.“her loyalty to her husband of 34 years”
a strong feeling of support or allegiance.
As women, our loyalty is often taken for granted.
We’ve probably been loyal to a man’s potential that resulted in us getting hurt and becoming more skeptical. When you’re dating it’s kind of inevitable. Some of us who don’t completely shut down from that and are willing to try again, have to be convinced why we should be loyal to you. When we hear ‘loyalty’ we think relationship….or something similar. That’s probably where the miscommunication is. Women will not be loyal to anything that isn’t consistent. Period.
Honest communication is the #1 factor that should always be on point between the both of you guys. At this point, most women feel like dating is like trying to prove to someone why you are worth a text, reply, phone call or a date. Which sucks by the way. This does not mean you must call/text her every single day either. Just try to be on the same page. She’s not going to be loyal to someone who she feels doesn’t know what they are looking for or isn’t being honest about what they’re looking for. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, just say that. It’s okay to not know. This saves time from being wasted.
Play fair! If you’re setting the expectation for her to be loyal. You must understand that she will set expectations for you that must equally be met. You can’t ask a woman to be loyal to you and in the same breath say you don’t want to be in a committed relationship. Frankly, that’s insulting. What you want is a loyal pussy and not a loyal woman.
Stop testing her if she’s worthy of being taken out. This can actually do more harm than good. We’re not 16 any more guys.
Lose the ego because that’s how a lot of things don’t get done. In fact, it goes nowhere fast super quick! If you’re brave enough to be vulnerable let her know that you’re in for the long run.
Be thoughtful. If you guys are still in the first stages of getting to knowing each other, make note of what she likes or doesn’t like. Let her know your likes and dislikes as well. The more she sees that you’re attempting to be more open, honest and vulnerable the more her trust for you will develop.
Trust must be born in order for loyalty to grow.
Loyalty does not happen overnight, guys.
It takes time. Loyalty is something that must be given time to develop. You ever had a favorite restaurant you liked to visit? It’s your favorite because every time you arrive there, you are greeted respectfully, are made to feel very important, everyone is friendly..the vibe of the restaurant is on point, food is great. You come back every time because you can always count on that establishment to be CONSISTENT and take great care of you. You feel comfortable there! That is how loyalty is developed! Do you make her feel this way?
Are you ready to give her something she can be loyal to?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!