Chrissie, Where Have You Been?

I’m BACK! For real this time. I know, I know. It’s literally been a year and 2 months since my last post. During this time the things I wanted to talk about weren’t makeup palettes and new product launches. Sometimes, I barely wanted to talk at all. I was going through so many emotions that I couldn’t even focus. Things that once intrigued and inspired me to create? Suddenly became tedious. I didn’t have much to offer to you guys at that moment because I was going through my own hardships. Today’s blog post is going to be a little different. I wont lie, this might change my whole approach to how I tackle blogging altogether. I’m a very transparent person and I feel like from here on out, I’ll be using my platform to simply provide insight and help other girls out there like myself navigate through life’s hiccups and share my experiences on here. Without further adieu, let’s get started!

I went through a terrible breakup

It set my anxiety through the roof (read here). I spent a lot of time by myself and learned a lot too! I realized that so many people are navigating through life broken and are trying to find their own happiness through people. I have such a nurturing spirit and unfortunately, it has caused me to attract broken men. I wont eloborate on this further because unhealthy relationships are now a thing of the past 😉

But just know I’m not putting up with anything less than I deserve. Okkkurttt. PERIOD. *Alexa, play City Girls*

I got fired from my job and was unemployed for months.

Why? do you ask. This was literally for no reason. Through text message, too! Gotta love the promptness of it all. This happened immediately after the holidays, I had interviews lined up but most of those companies weren’t trying to pay me what I was worth due to them having little to no budget. So guess what I did? I impulsively bought a new car. Right now you’re probably thinking: You bought a new car after you lost your job and didn’t have another one lined up? GIRL! What? Are you dumb? Yes. Yes I did. AND I paid cash, too! LOL.

It was my first car and I came home with a cute all black Mercedez Benz Coupe. I didn’t want to limit myself to just taking public transportation. And if you’re from New York, you already know how infuriating it is trying to get around when there are delays. Plus, I saw it as a business investment. Most of you know I am a working Professional Makeup Artist. Along with that means I need a solid way to get around. I didn’t want to limit myself to gigs in Manhattan.

Oh! AND I chopped all my hair off. It was breaking from all the stress. As soon as the month’s starting passing by, my hair started growing like I was human again. I have to admit, during this period I had tons of fun getting to know what my hair likes and responds best to.

I was sexually harassed.

I was riding the train one night and I nodded off. I live far from Manhattan because I’m on the border of Long Island and Queens so my trips would be crazy long if I didn’t take the Long Island Rail Road. Often times I would have long days and looked forward to my train rides home because it gave me time to relax. This day was different. I was the only one in the cart for the second half of my commute. I eventually nod off.

I suddenly feel someone towering over me. I look up and behold, a big tall creep with his ‘member‘ in hand staring back at me. Smiling. I immediately scream at him making tons of noise. I pull my phone out and start recording him. Then the unthinkable happened. The train was now stuck because of a signal delay. I tried to switch train carts but I couldn’t. Unfortunately, the train I was in was so old school because the cart doors lock when the trains aren’t in motion. This part sucked. So I stay by the door just incase the train starts to move again so that I could make a run for it. My phone then prompts me and tells me my battery is on 10%. I immediately start recording him. That way, If something horrible was going to happen to me, I would at least have proof. He had begun masturbating. In addition to that, he was saying very nasty things. Within 5 minutes I reach Forrest Hills and as soon as those doors open, He makes a run for it and hops on the E train towards Jamaica Center. I found an MTA worker who was able to call 911 for me and I filed a police report.

I was traumatized. Even though I got good photos and footage of him…He looked like EVERYBODY. I seen a guy that looked exactly like him on the bus and my palms started getting sweaty and my heart started racing because it brought me back to that time when I felt helpless on the train that night. To this day I’m apprehensive about taking trains and I now take the Long Island Rail Road instead. The lesson I learned from this? ALWAYS carry mace with you. I was fortunate to survive and not get physically hurt that night.

I lost both of my grandparents months apart from each other

To this day, I’m still broken hearted about this. The person I feel the most for is my mommy. She and my Grandmother were so close that they shared names. My Grandma’s name was Micheline. In Haitian creole, anything we refer to as small, we attach a ‘Ti’ to it. So my mom was known in the family as Ti’miche (Little Michelle). I’ll always love my grandparents. Just thinking about their love for me gives me the fuzzies inside. It was definitely a wakeup call when we lowered my Grandmother’s casket into the ground. The inexplainable feeling of helplessness takes over and you can’t do anything about it besides weep. I admit, I tried not to cry because I wanted to be strong for my mommy. This was the day she needed me to be there for her most. I was almost about to not attend the funeral because my job (the one I got fired from) at the time was giving me problems about the days I would be missing, which would be 3 days. But I said fuck it and went anyway. It wasn’t even a career job, I was just a Freelancer for Hourglass. A job will always replace you. Having the last chance to see my grandmother was far more important than fucking selling makeup and I’m glad I did.

I had to cut ties with someone I considered a dear friend of mine.

This past year has taught me a very valuable lesson. Grow through what you go through. A lot of us are beginning our healing or are in the process of healing. It ain’t easy nor is it pretty. I fell out with one of my my close friends. She thinks I should have been there for her more. I was also working through my own pain. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Maybe it was for the best.

 

THE GOOD PART

I want you to know that I’m okay. I was able to make it to the other side and my outlook is a lot more positive and less pessimistic. I no long resent anything for happening the way it did. Maybe I needed to go through those pivotal moments. I am now in a happy relationship with my bestfriend, Rashad Daley. (and if you’re reading this babe, I love you). I’m booked and busy and plan on traveling and seeing the world in the upcomming year! Mentally I’m in a much better space and every day I’m pushing myself to be the best version of me I can be.

So where have I been? I’ve been chillin’…preferrably on a rooftop with an ice cold beer in hand.

If you’re going through anything (big or small) and simply need an ear to listen, you can always reach out to me directly at [email protected].