Girl Chat: Why He’s Not Worth It!

He's Not Worth It

Dating is tricky. It’s literally a game. Everyone is always going to put their best foot forward – this often means impressive qualities will shine bright and reel you into the fuckery you’re about to experience. Sorry if that sounded bitter. Heh, whoops! 😉

Now, I’m no expert. But I’ve definitely had my fair share of nonsense dealing with wolves in sheep clothing. Besides trying to refrain yourself from over thinking, you just have to take that L, bro. A lot people like to say “you attract what you put forth” .. But I’m not ashamed to say how inaccurate of a statement that is. If it’s one thing I’ve learned from dealing with these unspoken rules, it’s realizing that they’re far from accurate. People are different. Situations are different.

Don’t set your standards by all the love quotes you see on the web. I get it, some of them are VERY relatable. But If you live your life based on all those tumblr quotes and love memes, you’re in for a rude awakening. Why? Because no body is perfect. Frankly, they just remind me of how superficial we are as homo sapiens.

The Communication Sucks.

There is a reason why this is number one! (I mean, c’mon why wouldn’t it be?) How can anything stand a chance if the communication is whack? We live in a time where texting back is considered effort, so anything short of a quick check in, is just unacceptable. I get that people have lives and that we’re grown, but it literally takes 10 to 30 seconds to send a quick simple ‘hey, what’s up?’. I personally feel as though no one is EVER too busy to make time for people who supposedly matter. I’ll tell you why: Think of a time you REALLY wanted to do something. I mean, you were determined to include that activity in your plans no matter what. So much so, that you made sure to plan everything out accordingly! This very same effort can be used in regards to making time for that alleged special someone. If he’s active on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Snapchat, Myspace, Xanga, or Sconex, he’s not worth it. Not getting a message is also a message.

Insecurities.

He points out your flaws—both physical attributes and personality characteristics. Instead of embracing them, he nit picks and mocks you. Any guy that makes you feel anything less of what you are is a tool. In addition, When men purposefully look for women’s flaws, it’s solely to hide a more deeper rooted issue. Love yourself, girl.

Holding Back.

You’re probably a fun, free spirited kind of gal. You should never feel like you can’t truly be yourself around ANYONE. If he isn’t going out of his way to make you feel comfortable talking to him, It’s slow for everything. Guy’s who care about your dreams, goals or aspirations are the real MVP’s. It just shows that he’s genuinely interested and wants nothing but the best for you.  Furthermore, if he doesn’t bring you around his friends, that definitely raises a red flag. He’s not worth it, and don’t be his play thing. You should be able to be open and honest with each other. Developing a solid friendship is an essential part of building a connection with someone. Friends don’t make friends feel uncomfortable.

 

Sex.

If you feel like this is the only time you have 100% of his attention? Abort mission.

You’re doing all the work.

If you’re doing all the calling, texting, talking, planning, etc, that’s a problem. He should want to communicate with you. It’s fine to want a little space, but he shouldn’t need a reason to call beyond a simple hello. If he only seems to want to talk to you when he wants something, walk away. You deserve better. Guys tend to act up on purpose to just avoid you from liking them any further and to delay the dreaded ‘so what are we?’ or ‘where do we go from here?’ questions. He’s not worth it.

Inconsistency of Effort.

Noticing this is when you start to wonder if it’s best to quit while you’re ahead. Sometimes you’ll have REALLY good times, and you start to reconsider taking ol’ boy serious again. Not realizing that it was only just..well, a good time. When a gap emerges and his effort is choppy, chances are he only wants to talk to you when he’s in the mood. He’s not worth it. You are worth getting to know and being treated like the absolute QUEEN you are. If any guy opposes? BYE! 😉

He's not worth it

Doubt.

If he’s made you question any kind of intention or made you doubt his feelings for you. You ask yourself questions like; ‘Is there a possibility of there ever being an us in the future?’

You Foot The Bill.

….A lot.

At Some Point, You Just Thought:

He's not worth it

 

It can get repetitive. You meet a guy; a connection is felt – eventually you’ll begin to talk on the phone religiously! text heavy, go out once or twice (if you’re lucky) then eventually the interaction subsides. You can’t make a guy do anything that he doesn’t want to do. If he misses you, he’d set up a date. If he want’s to talk to you, he’d call.

 

Listen honey, don’t even trip. Realize your self worth. When it comes to dating, it’s definitely trial and error but you are worth getting to know. You are worth waiting for. You are worth the effort. Make sure to have a good understanding of yourself before getting to know anyone else. The ironic part of dating is.. you really learn more about yourself  asides from learning about different kinds of people. Although guys have been acting up for centuries, We live in a time where things are a lot more blatant. My advice? FOCUS ON YOU. Focus on being the absolute best version of yourself. One day, a handsome King will come around and treat you like the Queen you truly are. Sometimes it has to get worse before it gets good. How will we know to appreciate a beautiful sunny day if we’ve never experienced a treacherous storm? 🙂

 

Thoughts? What’s a deal breaker for you? What makes him suddenly no longer worth it to you?

  • imani

    This was a great observational piece. I usually avoid posts like this but the dialect you chose to use kept my attention & I actually comprehended what I read……….unlike other writers that over extend their words and terminologies

    -New Reader

    • Nancy

      OMG Yes! This is so accurate and can definitely go both ways! I love how you stayed neutral and unbiased!

    • Chloe

      I agree Imani! I’m not crazy about dating posts but article was very well written. It was accurate and truthful! 🙂 I hate when bloggers don’t scratch the surface when making such bold statements. Chrissie, girl! I’m a fan of yours! Can’t wait to see more advice posts from you!!!!!!!!

      • Yay!

        Thank you Chloe! glad i was able to be more descriptive! 🙂

    • Thanks Imani! LOL! yeah I like to keep it short and sweet! hahah

  • Liz

    Loveee this post! Couldn’t agree with it more. I just wish more girls would realize they’re worth!

    xoLiz
    http://theliterallyliz.blogspot.com

    • YES! A lot of girls don’t understand how important it is to value themselves as a queen, and only royalty recognizes royalty!!

  • Totally agree with this post! A lot of these points remind me of my ex actually! And I’m now very skeptical of men! Great post xx

    xbeccabe.blogspot.co.uk

    • HAHAH! Likewise! And as you should! All guys are questionable to me until they actually put forth legitimate effort. I’m so over the ‘playing games’ phase!

  • Oh man, this is so accurate. I love the way you write and the pictures got me laughing all the way while reading.
    You are right about communication being the number one, it was the main reason I broke up with my ex, as you said it, he’s not worth it 🙂

    http://www.pinkdemure.blogspot.com

    • HA!!! Thanks love! 🙂 It’s so crazy that the most simple task can make things spiral out of control! Communication is e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!

  • Jessica

    I like how this post focuses on women making themselves strong and recognizing the qualities of a bad relationship without demonizing men. So many women demonize men, but not all men are bad, and not all women are perfect. We all have a lot to do and this article shows that.

    • Yes! we’re all not perfect and are still trying to figure life out – men included. Him not being worth it doesn’t deem him as worthless or a bad person. It could just be bad timing or he’s just far from being your ‘right guy’.. I didn’t want to sound like your typcical scorned blogger LMAO!

  • Dating has been a huge topic lately. I have been in a relationship for the past 4 1/2 years, and even though I got off the market young, I had my fair share of “dating.” I have learned all of this within my healthy relationship now. Your post is on point! I love your tone – serious, yet humorous. It’s good to set your standards high, but everyone should know that he’s not going to be THE prince charming.
    Thank you so much for your follow on Bloglovin!
    I followed you back, and I followed you on your other social media!
    Instagram @Samanthamgh // Twitter @Samanthamgh and @LiveBrightBlog
    I love your content! Keep it up!
    Good luck!
    Samantha @ livinonbrightside.blogspot.com

    • Thanks Samantha!! Yeah dating is definitely that awkward phase for me at the moment. I ended a relationship simply because my bf at the time and I were on two completely different stages in life. I wanted to focus on finishing school, and he starting acting up because that meant that seeing less and less of eachother. It made me realize that not everyone you care about has your best interests at heart! But hey, no ones perfect! Thank you so much for stopping by! I’m definitely going to check out your blog!

  • Love the posts! really true and honest!
    xx
    Curvybird.blogspot.nl

  • Dominique W. (Fabulously Smart

    Yassssssss love this!!!