Dating + This Generation = N/A

[source: hellobeautiful.com]

We want love, but we don’t want to work for it. We want end results without enduring the trial. It takes effort to even show effort.  Dates are pointless. As a matter of fact. Why do we even play ourselves by even showing the slightest degree of interest? After all, dates are a waste of time… defined by massive usage of cologne and/or perfume, awkward sweaty hand-holding, and feelings of puppy love that usually dissolve in a few weeks (or less). 

If you don’t find anything absurd with the statements you just read, then you might be apart of the problem. This method of thinking is not too far from the impression I get from people, when a dating discussion gets brought up. Never ceases to amaze me either. We think we deserve so much with very minimal effort.

Tuh.

We live in a very awkward time. Me personally, I just feel like everything is ass-backwards. Girls doing duties of a wife for fuckboys. Good guys pursuing girls who could care less. When it all goes bad, we clear our throats, and smooth the wrinkles in our skirts and ties to give the ‘people ain’t shit’ speech to anyone who will listen. I’m no relationship expert, but I just feel like we trick ourselves into thinking and believing that we want something — when in actuality, we’re not sure what it is that we want. Furthermore, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s good for us. Get to know yourself before you get someone involved. Find out what it is that you want. Lastly, communicate your want’s so that you can avoid misleading anyone. Essentially, that’s the most important part!

Foolish Pride.

People don’t even like expressing their feelings anymore. Expressing your feelings to someone does not make them any far more superior than you. Expressing your feelings doesn’t make you a sucker. It just means that you’re mentally aware of whats going on with your emotions, and your secure within yourself to express that. Now, if who you’re expressing your feelings for decides to be immature and altogether dubs your shit — move on 🙂 There are so many people out there who want to appreciate you. (Know your worth).

Social Media doesn’t ruin relationships. YOU do.

We idolize the couples we see in meme’s being shared on social media, and measure our personal relationships and happiness by those same images. We’ve gotten too accustomed to comparing someone’s pretentious virtual reality  to our actual lives…People post what they would like for us to see. You can’t blame a couple for only showcasing moments they’re fond of. We ignore the fact that these couples aren’t perfect and that we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors offline. I don’t believe social media ruins relationships. The same way I don’t believe guns kill people. People let their social media antics dampen their relationships, and people let their emotions get the best of them and pull the trigger. (That’s a different blog post for a different day). As the good saying goes: ‘you point one finger, you have three pointing right back at you.’ Stop  blaming social media for the demise of relationships.

When REALITY cancels out EXPECTIONS.

Nowadays, you would assume someone’s already paved the way because of how high the bars are set. Nope. People, myself included have to understand that there is no such thing as the total package. However, there is such thing as reality, compatibility, and flaws :).  He/She won’t always hold multiple degree’s, be a millionaire, have the perfect body, have a keen sense of humor, know how to cook/clean,  are excellent in the bedroom, and is God fearing. Lol. Stop praising perfection and learn how to appreciate a great person.

You put in what you get in.

People will contribute zero effort, and expect the world to make time for them. No, it does not work like that. It is a two way street, guys. Simple. Futhermore, people feel as though they should be rewarded for simply giving half of a fuck, not a full one.

Okay guys. Slow down, stop half assin’ it & quit being lazy!

It’s either the relationship moves too fast, or too slow. By too fast, I mean rushing things. I personally feel that situationships mature quickly when all you do is chill at home. Possibly cuddle. One thing leads to another, then boom. It gets complicated. Why? You have yet to actually go out on a date with this person and get to know them outside of who you think they are. You know you done messed up when your first date was a netflix and chill session. Now, don’t get me wrong. watching Netflix and chilling with your significant other is dope! — If you’re actually watching Netflix and chilling. And if you’re dropping them panties down low, then hey, who am I to judge. We have needs. However, there is a big difference between wanting to build a future with someone versus planned casual sex and a few texts during the week. Make memories: Go to the museum. Visit a botanical garden. Go apple picking…something. Don’t be another homie in the Netflix &  Chill archive.

Welcome to our generation. We want everything and nothing at the same time.

We forgot the key essentials:

Eye contact consistency – Can you tell if this person is being sincere with you? 

Body language – It indicates the measure of attraction. Do they make you feel comfortable?

Actions – They speak louder then words. A person’s actions make up for what they don’t say. Such things that exemplify this is: A kiss on a forehead, the opening of the car door.

Gut Instinct – In the end, all that really matters is how you feel about the vibes and energy after a date or encounter. 

 

How do you feel about dating in this generation? Do you have any funny/annoying experiences? do share!

  • Dominique W. (Fabulously Smart

    I agree with everything you said! I love this post honey.

    • Thank you love! I’m glad everything was spot on! =]

  • Dominique W. (Fabulously Smart

    I was dating this guy and I had to let him know up front my intentions with my next relationship is long term and if those are not his intentions which is fine then I would have to move on. He told me he wasn’t ready and I was a little disappointed initially then I realized my worth and so I moved on. He texts or whatever but once my feelings turn on and that lightbulb come on that’s it…

    • I completely understand. That’s good that you let him know you’re not trying to waste your time 🙂 Everyone deserves to at least have their time valued by someone they admire. Nowadays, people want the characteristics of a relationship without actually being in one. LOL.

  • A.R. Stylez ™

    Great read & Valid points!

  • yaaaaaaaassssssssssss!!!!!! lol this post was so on pint girl! Too many games being played and like you said we need to know what we want and we need to let them know what up AND STICK WITH IT! Don’t make excuses for their actions when they mess up. And now that it’s getting cold you know they are going to be coming out of the woods with random texts #boybye #ImBusy

    • LMAOOO! Deadass! I’ve already started getting texts from people who’s numbers i’ve already deleted from WAY back. People play entirely too much.

      I can definitely testify and say that i’ve made excuses for guys who fell short. never worked out. I definitely should’ve trusted my gut instinct. you live and you learn though! lessons 🙂